Carissa Mae Whaddya Say

Life has a funny way of making things happen. Sometimes the expectations that you had for something didn’t work out exactly as you had thought in the end, and sometimes the worst-case scenario never even happens and you’re instead gifted with something wonderful. The thing is, life is full of surprises, so we shouldn’t expect our own expectations to be written in stone; everything is changeable and everything is temporary. The situation that you find yourself in now won’t be the way that you’re living forever. There is always hope, and there is always something better out there.  Don’t think about all of the bad things that could go wrong; put them out of your mind. You shouldn’t get too caught up in all of life’s “what-ifs,” but you should instead shift your mindset to simply accept what is and what will be. Things can change in an instant, so something to help keep your mind from worrying too much is to tell yourself “what will be will be.” Whatever happens, happens! Go with the ...

Your health and wellbeing are fundamental to living a happy, positive life. If you’re not taking care of yourself, how can you be sure that you’re going to enjoy living the life that you’ve been given? Taking care of yourself isn’t always bubble baths and a book, it’s also making sure that you’re eating a well-balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, brushing your teeth, and remembering to scrub behind the ears. All of these things might seem basic enough, but are you actually taking your time with them? Or are you rushing through it to get it over with? Self-care should be something that you take your time with and enjoy, not something that you do because you feel like you have to. Wake up a little earlier if you must in order to actually enjoy yourself. Trust me, having a little extra time to yourself in the morning can really help set the mood for the day. Take your time in the shower, take your time shaving, take your time with your skincare. Everything starts to feel so much bette...

One of the best things that you can do in life is to observe rather than absorb. Take a look at the things that are going on around your life, but don't take them to heart and don't make them a part of your life. When people come to you with drama or gossip, don't hold onto it. Observe it and then let it go. Most gossip won't pertain to you anyway, so why bother holding it all in your mind and heart? While it might be entertaining to watch the lives and drama of other people, you shouldn't make other people's drama a part of your life. Why watch other people's lives when you have your own to live?  I understand that it can be hard to avoid the drama and gossip of everyday life, but you should always try your best to steer clear of it. It's not like gossiping about other people ever leaves the conversation in a positive tone anyway, so why would you want to feed into the negativity? Rumors are rumors and they'll stay that way until the person in the...

Competition is something that is so prevalent in our society that it's almost become normalized. The problem lies not in the actual competition itself, but with whom you're competing against. The only person that you should be competing against is yourself.  This applies to every area of your life, but it especially applies to your career. Don't obsess over how other people are doing in their jobs. It can be easy to look at someone else—co-worker or not—and to see how successful they are in their life, and to think that you'll never reach that level of success. The worst thing that you can do for your mind is to constantly stress yourself out over other people and whether or not they're doing a better job than you. Don't think about that, but shift your focus to the job that you've been given and do it to the best of your ability. Ask yourself questions when you find your mind wandering to other people's work or lives. Are you doing the best that you can...

Life is a book full of chapters! When you're reading a book, you don't reread the same chapter over and over again without moving on with the rest of the book. The same applies for life. You shouldn't dwell on the same chapter of your life and relive it over and over again. You need to learn to move on and let go of the disappointing chapters of life. Turn the page and move on to something happier and better for your health. You shouldn't dwell on all of the negatives chapters of life. You need to learn to let them all go and to focus on the positives of life. There is too much good in life for it to be ignored or pushed aside.  The bad chapters of life aren't meant to be focused on all of the time. At some point, you have to move on for your own good, and bring more positivity and happiness into your life. Dwelling on the bad will only make you feel worse. It won't make you feel any better today than it did yesterday. Focusing on the positive, however, will alw...

The way that you live and present yourself will send a message to everyone around you about who you are and what you stand for. The way that you talk to people, the actions that you take, the causes that you hold dear—all of these things are indicators to others about the kind of person that you are, and whether or not they will want to associate with you. Your vibe will attract your tribe, quite literally! Don't feel bad if someone doesn't vibe with you. Oftentimes, it's because they just have a completely different way of life than yours, and that's okay!  We're not all going to be the same, and you're not going to vibe with everyone you meet either. There are always going to be differences between you and the people that you meet. You're not always going to agree with someone 100% of the time, and that's a good thing! It gives you and others a chance to see something from someone else's viewpoint for a change. You never know the things that you ca...

Society nowadays is so focused on doing things the easy way. It seems like everyone just wants everything handed down to them. The thing is, what is easy isn't always what is right, and sometimes you need to do things the hard way because it is the right way. The easy way out isn't always the best, safest, or even morally sound depending on the situation. You shouldn't just take the easy way out because it is just that—easy. Always weigh your options. Sometimes the path that seems the hardest is the most worthwhile in the end.  Don't get caught up in what everyone else is doing. Ask yourself if what they're doing is right. The T.H.I.N.K. method can be applied here! Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If you answered "no" to one or more of these questions, maybe you shouldn't be doing what everyone else is doing.  Life is all about carving your own path. That is why we all think, talk, and act differently from each o...

Staying mindful and present in our everyday lives can be challenging sometimes. Work creeps in, deadlines are looming, and you still don't know what to make for dinner when you get home. Stop right there. Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. What task needs to be completed right now ? What can you do to move closer to your long-term goals right now ? We spend so much time in our heads and in our own future that sometimes we forget that we don't live there. We live right here, right now.  There is a Japanese word that fits very well with this post: ukiyo ( 浮世), which refers to a state of mind that emphasizes living in the moment, detached from the difficulties of life. We can all try to have a mindset more like this. Forget about your worries and simply be; just exist for a moment. I find that deep breathing helps, as well as taking a moment to just observe your surroundings. Simply be in the now. Don't worry yourself with the future and don't feel guilty about the past....

It's so easy to get caught up in the "what ifs" of life, and it can stress you out to the point that you're assuming the worst about every situation, when really, you should be focusing on the positive. What's the best that could happen? Refuse to focus on the negative, refuse to think about the worst-case scenario, and choose to think about the best possible outcome.  To be quite realistic about any situation, the best thing that you can do for your mind and wellbeing is to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. You should always have a backup plan in case things go south, but that doesn't mean that you have to constantly dwell on that one outcome. Hope for the best! Think about all of the good things that could happen out of a situation rather than stressing yourself out over hypotheticals.  Thinking about the worst won't get you anywhere, but preparing for it will. Have a Plan B, but never lose your hope. Hope is a powerful thing, and you should ...

When you have a goal that you're trying to reach, it can be frustrating to look at the journey you still have to make to get there. The best thing that you can do for the stress that you're feeling is to simply look back and see how far you've already come in your journey. There is probably a lot that you can do today that you couldn't do a year ago, or even a month ago! That alone should be motivation enough to keep you going, to keep you pushing forward. When you're only looking at the end-goal, it can become frustrating to see everything that you still need to accomplish to get to where you need to be. What matters is that every day, you try to make progress—no matter how small—to get to where you want to be. No matter what your goal is, it's going to take time, patience and discipline to accomplish the things that you want to achieve. You're not going to get to where you want to be overnight, but you're also not going to make any progress if you'...

Sunrises, sunsets, family, friends, bonfires, full moons, stars, cloud formations, flowers, nature, bees, sunlight, moonlight, moss, music, trees, mountains, the ocean—all of these things are free to experience. These things could be a starter kit for gratitude if you're struggling to find something to be thankful for. There are so many good things in life to experience for free, and all of the best things are free of course!  We should all take some time to be with nature to just experience the world that we're given while we have it. Forget technology, forget TV, forget sports, forget work; take time to simply exist surrounded by nature, maybe invite some friends or family and take a camping trip, or go to the beach and hit some waves! Experience life! Get out there and get surrounded by the wonders of nature! Life is meant to be experienced, so don't let it pass you by. There are plenty of things out there for you to do. You don't have to live under a rock, avoiding ...

Bad people will always find a way to weasel their way into your life, but you shouldn't let them harden your heart. Stay soft, stay kind, but more importantly, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and reinforce your boundaries. You should never stop being kind or having a soft heart because someone decided to be rude or downright cruel to you. Don't let one bad person solidify your faith in humanity as a whole; there are still plenty of good and wonderful people out there. Don't let one bad experience ruin your entire life. You don't need to stoop down to their level in order to be "even" with them. You can simply move on from the experience and continue to be happy with yourself and your life, despite everything. Dwelling on the past only leads to further regret and guilt, so why burden yourself with it? Sit with yourself for a moment and ask yourself if the feeling of regret and guilt serves you in any way. If it's not, then why are you holding o...

  Life is something to be enjoyed, to be savored, not something to be rushed through half-assedly. Far too many people make life out to be some sort of incremented, timed thing, when it's not. You don't have to be married by a certain age, or have kids at a certain age. Life is not a race, so don't feel pressured to completing big life events at a specific age. When you pressure yourself into making major life decisions, sometimes the outcome isn't exactly what it could have been. You could feel guilty about your decision, or you could feel as if you have made the wrong choice. I know it can be hard, but you need to stand your ground and not give in to the social pressure. This applies not only to major life choices, but to anything else in your life that you're feeling pressured to do. Why spend your life trying to please society? Why not live for yourself for a change? Wouldn't it be nice to do something for yourself, and to live the way that you want to live ...

Perfection is a lie and a myth! It is in no way attainable! Forget what social media tells you; you will never be perfect. Quite the contrary, actually: you are perfectly imperfect! That is something that we all are. The fact that none of us are perfect is something that is so incredible and unique. It enables us to figure out how to compromise with the differences that we have amongst ourselves, and through that, we learn to understand each other more. Imperfection is a natural state of being. Look at nature. Vines grow with the strength they sap from the trees, fungi eat the dead, and the entire animal kingdom is entirely unfair. Everything has its own place and time to shine, including you! Even when it feels like you're being suffocated, or eaten alive, or being hunted down for being yourself; you will have your time. The reality that nothing in life is perfect, is, in fact, perfection itself. Perfectly imperfect! The best thing that you can do for yourself, is to simply be you...

Happiness is not something that you can go out and buy or find; it's something that you create with yourself, by yourself. You can't buy it, either, despite the happy feeling you get when that Amazon package arrives in the mail. You have to curate your own happiness, and you can only do that by choosing how you feel, picking your friends, and removing yourself from unnecessary drama. Drama is all around, and it won't make you any happier to be around it. It will only bring you down and make you stressed, so the best thing to do is to disconnect yourself from it. Stay out of the situations that bring out the worst in people, try not to gossip. It'll do your mind good to keep yourself distanced from situations or people that like to stir up trouble. Another big thing that I always like to mention in my posts, is gratitude. Gratitude will always be the number one way to make your life a little happier. Finding something to be thankful for and dwelling on it for a few minut...

Your life is whatever you make of it. The things that you spend your time doing, how you talk to yourself, everything you do in your life will reflect the kind of life that you're living. If you spend your time doing meaningless actions, or saying depressing things to yourself, then you're going to find yourself in a very sad, depressing life very quickly. Life won't get better until you do. You won't have the life that you want if you keep doing the same thing over and over. Like I talked about in a previous post, if you want your life to change, you need to make a change. Living a great life isn't going to happen if you're stressed and depressed all of the time. You need to learn to pull yourself out of the rut that you're in, and start seeing the positive in your life! If you're feeling down right now, I challenge you to look around and find at least one positive thing in your life. Even if you're in a good place at the moment, you can always take...

Change is something that doesn't just happen overnight. You're not going to see the changes that you want immediately after starting something new; it's going to take time to get to where you want to be. The thing is, change isn't going to come on its own; you have to work for it in order to make it happen! I didn't just start out with posts that had a couple paragraphs and a pretty graphic depicting a quote. I actually started posting these things last January, and only on Mondays. The first was a simple graphic that I had made. Pastel pink, a white box and quotation marks. All it said was, "Happy Monday! May your week be filled with nothing but good things!" That was it. That was the post. And it got no likes. Granted, I only had like 50ish followers where I posted it to, but that didn't stop me. I kept posting them. I changed the way did them a few times. I added context to go along with the image, and still got no traction with anyone. It took a li...

Life moves so quickly! Too quickly sometimes. Just this past Thursday marked nine years since my grandpa has been gone. It really makes you realize that you don't have long before you're out of time. We need to learn to slow down in life, to take in the sights, to enjoy the time that we spend with our family and friends before it's gone.

Trust is something that is earned. We've all heard that said before, but what about trusting in yourself? Believing in yourself? What if you trusted yourself to achieve the goals that you set for yourself? The thing is, you shouldn't always rely on external validation; you must learn to be okay with trusting yourself. Trusting yourself is going to start and end with self-love. You need to learn to be yourself, and to be kind to yourself. Self-kindness and self-love are one-in-the-same. To be kind to yourself is to love yourself, and to love yourself is to be kind to yourself. Patience with yourself is very important when it comes to developing self-trust. You have to learn to get rid of the negative thoughts that creep their way into your mind; learn to replace them with positive thoughts. Instead of thinking that something is difficult or that you can't get the hang of something, tell yourself that you're learning and that you will find a way to overcome the situation....

Leave the past in the past! You won’t progress in life if you’re dragging old habits around with you. If you keep trying the same thing over and over again, and you’re not getting the results that you want, maybe it’s time to try something new. T hink of it like diet and exercise. Some diets won't work for you, just like some exercises work better for other people than they will for you. It’s all about figuring out what works, rather than doing the same old thing and becoming disappointed every time you don’t get results. In order to move forward in your life, you need to learn to embrace change. Sometimes, you can get so caught up in sticking with the things that you know, that you wind up afraid of venturing out of your comfort zone. It’s easy to stay with what’s familiar, but you have to learn to let go of familiarity and let yourself embrace the new and the unknown. You need to allow yourself to be open to new ideas and new ways of thinking. You're stuck where you are righ...